The Queen Of Chocolate Hearts
by white-lotus02
Summary: Alluka could not have been more overjoyed when her beloved Big Brother came to rescue her. Killua introduced her to Gon and was happier than he had ever been when they were all together. But when Gon splits ways with them, Killua finds it harder and harder to be happy. He just can't seem to find his way. But no matter how far he falls, Alluka is determined to help her Big Brother.
1. A Promise and A Lie

- **A/N: Hey guys, so I have been gone for a while and that was kind of due to the fact that I had complete writers block. But anyway, I recently watched Hunter X Hunter (I watched both versions) and I absolutely was heart broken when I finished the series. So I had this idea, after watching the end of the 2011 version, and I decided to write about it. I love Killua and Alluka I think they are so cute and Killua is such a good big brother, so I kind of wanted to expand on their relationship as siblings.**

 **I am thinking this story will be about three parts, but I haven** **'t actually decided that yet. Thanks so much for reading, I'll try to update regularly, and let me know what you think!**

 **I do NOT own Hunter X Hunter-**

 **The Queen Of Chocolate Hearts**

" _If there is one person in this world, even if it is only one person, as long as someone believes in you, then you will be saved."_

 _~Gon Frecess_

 **Part 1: A Promise and A Lie**

Killua Zoldyck had always been fond of his little sister. And walking down the street with her swinging their hands happily, Gon along side them, was something he wouldn't trade for anything else. He glanced sideways at Gon, his eyes stared straight ahead, locked on the world tree. Alluka looked up at him.

"Big Brother? Are you okay?" A hint of worry resided in her question. He patted her on the head.

"Of course." It wasn't a complete lie, but it most definitely was not true. How could everything be fine? He was about to lose his best and most precious friend.

Gon stopped in front of the gateway to the tree. He turned and smiled at Killua, giving a small wave.

"Kite says that we'll always be friends wherever we go, Killua," he said, "See you…later."

"Yeah," Killua nodded. _That's a promise._

The two friends smiled one last time before parting ways, both fighting back tears, but both too strong to cry. As Killua turned the other way, his smile faded. A new adventure awaited him, but he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to let go of the old one yet. He forced himself not to look back at Gon, he knew if he did he wouldn't be able to stay strong.

Killua took a breath, swallowing the sadness and looking around the town. Alluka padded alongside him, her cheerfulness was refreshing. She looked up at him.

"Big Brother?" She asked, looking down at her stomach, "I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I guess we haven't eaten for a while," he looked around. "Is there somewhere that you want to go?" Alluka thought for a moment.

"I want to go there!" She pointed at a small building that was placed near the middle of the town. It had tables outside and a sign that portrayed a welcoming greeting as well as their menu. Killua nodded.

"Okay, let's go."

They took a table outside, the warm breeze felt nice and the sky was comforting. Alluka sat across from him, humming a song and kicking her feet under the table. It made him feel good when she was happy. Killua felt horrible for leaving her in that place for so long, with those people; and he was going to do anything and everything to make it up to her.

Alluka had quite the appetite. By the end of their lunch Killua paid for three orders of pasta, salad, and two courses of pork dishes. He didn't mind though. Alluka wanted to explore the town more, so that's what they did. Every so often Killua found himself glancing up at the World Tree, thinking about Gon and wondering what he was doing.

"Killua! I want to go to the beach."

"Okay, Nanika. Let's go to the beach."

Nanika clung to his arm, giggling as they got closer to the ocean. The beach was rather crowded, but Nanika didn't care. Killua took off his shoes when they reached the sand, and she followed his motion. The sand was hot under his feet, and he was worried about Nanika, but it didn't seem to affect her.

They walked down to where the sand became like stone, packed tightly by the ocean. The waves lapped at his ankles, the water was clear and blue and deep. It was beautiful. It dawned on Killua that Nanika and Alluka had never been to the ocean before.

"Killua! Play with me."

"Okay," he smiled. Killua splashed water at Nanika. She laughed happily, scooping the water in her hands and throwing it into the air. Then she licked her wet fingers, sticking out her tongue at the nasty taste.

"Yuck," she said, "Too salty."

Killua laughed. "Nanika, do you want to build a sand castle?" She nodded excitedly and sat down in the sand. It was fun to teach her to build a sand castle. Killua had planned to build a small one at first, but Nanika insisted on having a giant one. So that's what they did. Once they had finished their masterpiece Nanika stood and clapped her hands.

"Amazing!" She said. Killua smiled. "But who's gonna live in it?"

"Well we can build people out of sand—"

"No!" Nanika protested, "I want something real."

"Okay, let's look for something then. Maybe you can find a hermit crab or something and it can live in our castle." She nodded and scrambled off down the beach.

He searched for a while near the water, collecting shells to decorate the castle with. He found a beautiful white one that twisted in on itself. It has small spikes along its side and a smooth, soft pink inside. It was small enough that Killua could hold it in his palm. He piped up and shouted out of habit.

"Gon! Look what I—" Killua stopped. He clutched the shell in his hand and shook his head. Gon would have loved it. No. He pushed the past out of his mind, this was no time to be pouting. This was a day to spend with his sister, and he had it be strong, for Alluka and Nanika.

"Big Brother!" Alluka called, "Look! Look what I found!" Killua turned to her. She ran towards him, a gleam in her eyes. In her hand was a small creature, it had a small brown shell and seemed to be on the edge of deciding on coming out or hiding. Alluka ran to him and held out her hand, cradling the small crab.

"Wow," Killua said, "It's so cool. C'mon, bring it to the sand castle."

Alluka squatted by the sand castle and set the crab down in front of the small opening. "This is your new home, I made it for you." Her voice was soft and caring. Killua smiled. He watched the crab slowly come out of its shell, hesitant at first. It poked its legs around the entrance and moved its claws through the sand. Alluka prodded it with her hands and it finally went into the castle. She cheered.

"Yay! She likes it!" Alluka smiled.

"Hey, Alluka," Killua said, "Do you want me to go get us some drinks?" Alluka nodded.

"Big Brother, buy me a slushee! I like the blue ones." Killua nodded.

"Okay," he agreed, "I'll be right back. You'll be okay?" She nodded and he left to fulfill her request.

Killua returned a few minutes later with two drinks in his hand. He watched as two men stood over Alluka and the sand castle that she was trying so hard to protect. One of them said something to her and then stepped on the sand castle, she cried out. The other one held her back and threw her to the ground. That was when Killua lost it. He set the drinks down near their shoes and walked calmly over to them.

"Hey kid, you got something to say?" One looked at him. Killua simply smiled. He moved swiftly and efficiently, and he had broken their arms before they even knew what was happening. Then he placed his sharpened nails against their necks, drawing a pinch of blood.

"If you ever lay a hand on Alluka ever again, I'll kill you."

They trembled even as they ran away. Once they were at a safe distance and Killua was sure they wouldn't be back he turned to Alluka. She was searching frantically in the ruins of the sand castle. Tears swelled in her eyes.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no."

"Alluka, what's wrong?" Killua sat next to her. She shook her head, continuing to search.

"I can't find him, they stepped on him and I have to find him, he's gone, Big Brother! I have to find him!" Killua helped her search until they found the tiny crab, one of it's claws was hanging off, it was almost completely disconnected. Killua scooped it up in his hands. Alluka let out a soft gasp.

"Alluka…"

"Hand," Nanika answered, "Hand. Hand." She said again. Killua placed the small crab in her hands. It was healed almost instantly, and Nanika placed it on the edge of the water and watched as the waves swept it back into the ocean.

"Killua, pat my head."

"Sure," he smiled and did as she asked. "Nanika, give me your hand."

Killua had a great idea. He took her hand and placed it in the sand, then he did the same with his. With both their hands imprinted, he took his finger and laced it with Nen and then wrote under their hands: 'Killua, Alluka, and Nanika Zoldyck'. Then he smiled at his sister.

"Now we can be by the beach forever."

"I love…Killua."

Nanika leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep. Killua picked her up and headed back into town. He needed to find them somewhere to sleep tonight. Alluka breathed softly in his arms, she smiled and mumbled something, stirring slightly.

He checked into a hotel that was just outside of town. It was surrounded by trees and had beautiful forest paths that they could walk once Alluka woke up. That was one of the reasons why he had chosen it. The second reason he had chosen this hotel was because he couldn't stand to be in the same one they had stayed in last time. Of course, he could still see the World Tree from here but it wasn't so tempting that he might leave to go and climb to the top in pursuit of his friend.

The room they had been given was nice. It had a large window and soft carpet. He left the curtains drawn, he couldn't stand when they blocked the light from coming in. He ordered them sweet rice balls and sat by the window until Alluka woke up.

 _Family is off limits,_ Illumi's voice echoed. _Until you tell me what you're hiding I won't let Alluka go. That thing is dangerous. That thing isn't family…_ Killua bit his lip. He wouldn't let any of those monsters near Alluka, even if he had to give his life for it. He stopped for a moment, since when was he so brave? Since when was he courageous enough to do anything worthwhile? _Only fight when victory is assured._

Since when did he ignore that rule? Then he remembered, it was when he met Gon. Killua's eyes burned as he dug deeper. _You mean you might run away?_ Gon's voice taunted. Killua shook his head. _You always fight on the defensive, on the premise of escaping someone who is stronger than you. If anything you underestimate yourself. One day, you're going to leave Gon to die._

 _If you can't beat Shoot then you have to leave Gon's side._

 _You'll leave him to die._

 _Leave them to die…_

"Big Brother?" Alluka said groggily. Killua snapped out of his daze.

"Hmm?"

"Big Brother, play a game with me."

"Sure," Killua smiled.

After searching the room, Killua found a board game. He set up the pieces on the floor and sat across from Alluka. It wasn't that complicated to understand, there were a lot of pieces but only so many strategies you could use. He set the board, Alluka used the white pieces and Killua used the black ones. She picked up one of the fancier pieces.

"It's so pretty," she said.

"That's the Queen. She's the most powerful piece. She's the one who protects the King," he explained. Alluka smiled.

"I'm gonna be a Queen one day," she said, taking another bite of the chocolate cake.

The game went well, especially since Alluka caught on so quickly. Before long, they were both playing for real. Almost all the rice balls were gone and they had moved onto the chocolate cake that Killua had ordered earlier. Alluka had some of the icing smeared on her face, and Killua had to stop himself from laughing.

"Alluka, wipe your face."

She took the napkin and wiped the chocolate off. Then she laughed. Killua watched her with curiosity. How was it even possible for him to have a sister like her? How was it even possible that someone as bright and pure as her, could love someone so lost in darkness like him? Forgetting himself for a moment, Killua turned to Alluka.

"Alluka? Do you love me?"

"I love you lots, Big Brother!" She said, not a moment of hesitation in her answer.

"What do you love about me?" Killua wanted to know. He never got to ask Gon why, and he'd never get the chance to, but he could ask Alluka. How could light fall in love with darkness? He had to know.

"I like the way you always smell like chocolate," Alluka said, "And I like your eyes, they're pretty. And your really nice to me, and you do anything that I ask. And you love me. And you're the best Big Brother in the whole world!"

 _Killua is my most precious friend in the whole world._

That was it. That was all it took. Killua sucked in a sharp breath, trying to swallow the tears that swelled in his eyes. Alluka looked confused as the tears broke and streamed down his face. Killua let a small gasp escape his lips.

"Big Brother," Alluka said, "Do you miss Gon?"

At first he didn't do anything. But then a cry came from Killua and he looked more broken than he ever had before. He nodded slightly and looked at the ground. _I miss him so much_ , he thought.

"Big Brother," Alluka scooted closer to him, "Why are you crying?"

Killua sat on the ground. His heart ached. He grabbed his shirt and twisted it in his hand, then he pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them close. Killua had never hurt so much, and he felt bad that Alluka had to see him like this, but he just couldn't hold it back.

"It hurts so much," Killua explained, "It hurts more than anything has ever hurt before. And I…I don't know what to do! The past is too painful to think about, and whenever I think about him and the fun we had it just…it _hurts._ But I can't forget about it. My mind won't let me forget about our adventure…I tried so hard."

"Forgetting about the past won't make it stop hurting," Alluka said, kneeling in front of him. "It hurts because Gon was really special. And if he was special to you then you shouldn't forget about him. Even broken hearts heal, you just have to wait and be patient. But you should let it be, don't push it away…"

"But it hurts so much!" He cried. Alluka smiled and kissed two of her fingers, then placed them over his heart. Killua's eyes widened.

"Don't worry," she said, "I'll help you."

. . .


	2. A Monster and A Little Girl

**Part 2: A Monster And A Little Girl**

The next day Killua and Alluka left the city, leaving the World Tree, and Gon, behind them. He was a sad kind of relieved as they made their way through the forest path and to Yorknew City, but he knew that this was for the best if he was ever to mend his broken heart.

Alluka was amazed by the forest and was happily chattering on about the leaves and flowers and birds that she saw. Killua listened, and smiled, answering all her questions and telling her stories about the animals that lived in the trees.

"Big Brother, carry me," Alluka said.

"Sure." Killua bent down so she could climb on his back. Alluka wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and kicked her feet happily. He smiled.

The deeper they went into the forest, the harder the path became to see, until it was no longer even there. Killua continued in the same direction for a while, but eventually all the trees started to look the same and he decided just to take a break to get his bearings. He set Alluka against a tree and laid on his back.

A cool wind rustled his hair. The day wasn't as bright as the previous ones had been, there were more clouds that crossed the sky. But Killua didn't mind. He watched them drift and tried to spot the pictures that were hidden in them.

He practiced _Nen_ , strengthening his endurance and improving his aim. The lightning became easier to control with every time he practiced it and soon it was easy enough for him to do without even thinking about it. It also reminded him of the training he did with Gon. He remembered when they had come up with their abilities to get into that game to look for Gon's dad. The memory made him smile.

He missed Gon a lot, but he wasn't about to leave Alluka alone, or drag her on some selfish adventure. Killua enjoyed being with her, and it helped him not think about his lost friend. The sun sank lower in the sky, Alluka finally woke in enough time to see it fall below the horizon.

"Big brother, I'm hungry," she said.

"I packed some food from the hotel," he pulled out the meals that he had packed and handed one to Alluka who took it gratefully.

She held the rice ball in her hand, and Killua laid out the small pieces of meat on a napkin in front of them. He had packed some water bottles too but he left those under the tree to try and keep them cool. Alluka bit into the rice ball and smiled.

"Big Brother, show me your magic!" She cheered, "I want to see the blue dragon again."

Killua did as she asked. He gathered aura in his hand, then bent the lightning into a small blue dragon. He sent the dragon shooting through the air, crackling and lighting everything in a blue light. It snaked around the trees and through branches and then flew low right above Alluka. She screamed in excitement and watched as the dragon dispersed with one last crack.

"Amazing," she breathed.

Once they had finished eating Alluka laid on her back in the grass, and Killua smiled down at her. She gazed at the sky, fascination and curiosity on her face. Her eyes sparkled in the low orange light, locked on the sun as it continued to fall. Then Nanika's eyes were looking on him.

"Nanika," Killua said, "Promise me that you won't ever leave me. Can you promise that we'll always be together?" Nanika smiled.

"'Kay," she said, "I promise. I love you and I will never leave you." He smiled.

"I'll always protect you, Nanika. And I'll never make you go back to that house, ever," he promised.

Even if Killua never saw Gon again, he could still be happy as long as Alluka was there, at least he hoped he could. As long as the two of them were together, then Killua would always have a light in the dark. And if anyone ever tried to take her away from him…he would chase them to the ends of the earth to get her back. He would kill for her. Killua would do anything and everything to stay by her side. No matter the cost.

"Killua," Nanika shifted to her side, "Tell me a story."

"Okay," Killua smiled.

He thought for a moment, listening to the forest as it stirred, restless and moving. The trees sighed with the soft breeze, stars started to spot the darkening sky, and small animals ran for cover to their homes and to their families. Killua looked at his little sister as she smiled up at him. Then he thought of a story.

"Once, there was a monster," Killua began, "The monster was cold and scary, he lived so deep in the darkness that light could not reach him. And the monster was all alone, because no one loved him. Everyone hated him, but the monster was just lonely. He would wander the world, looking for someone who could understand him, but everyone ran away from him because they were afraid. So, eventually, the sad monster ran away, far away and into the woods.

"And when the monster was in the woods, he saw a little girl. He saw that the little girl was all alone too. So the monster went over and sat by her, though, he was afraid. Afraid that maybe this little girl would hate him too. But then, something amazing happened. The little girl smiled. She smiled at the monster and she hugged him. The monster smiled too, he felt the darkness being driven out of him. And now, the monster was no longer alone." Nanika smiled at the story.

"I would have loved the monster," she said. Killua smiled and laid down next to her. Alluka curled up beside him and he listened as her breathing became calm and steady. Killua patted her head and tilted his eyes towards the sky.

"The monster would have loved you too."

…Killua woke up too late. Illumi's bloodlust was less than a mile away from them. Fear crawled across his skin, Killua grabbed Alluka. If he used _Godspeed_ then he had a chance, it would be close, but he couldn't let Illumi get to them. He had to move now, but his legs were frozen in a place. And then the aura was right on top of them.

"Hello, Kil," his brother stepped out from the forest.

Killua engulfed himself in his own aura, charging so that he could get away in one shot, he was in no mood to have a fight with Illumi. He pressed his foot into the ground and released with a short burst. A pinch in his leg slowed his speed. The pain was immense and he realized that one of Illumi's needle had found its way deep into his skin.

Illumi continued on towards them. Killua tried to ignore the pain in his leg and run, but another needle shot its way into his arm and he ended up dropping Alluka. She opened her eyes and looked around. Killua fell to the ground with her, clutching his leg and trying to pull out the needle.

"Big Brother?" Alluka scooted closer to him, looking at his leg.

"Alluka, run!" Killua shouted at her, tearing the needle from his arm.

Illumi stopped Alluka before she could get far enough away, he picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. Killua tried to get up but something caught his leg and all of a sudden Hisoka was behind him. Once again, he cloaked himself in lightening and tried to break free of Hisoka's aura, but it was no use.

"Illumi! I'm going to kill you!" Killua screamed from the ground.

"Now, now, Kil," Illumi took calm steps towards him, "There's no need to be like that. I won't hurt Alluka, not yet anyway. I still need to find out that last rule you're hiding from us." He turned around and started to walk back into the forest. Panic rose in Killua's chest, he couldn't lose Alluka again, he couldn't let him take her. _Get up_ , he screamed to himself, _Get up, get up, get up!_

"Illumi!" Killua shouted again, it was the only word he could think of. His brother stopped, barely turning for a last look.

"Goodnight, Kil," a needle was thrown from Illumi's hand and raced straight towards Killua. It dug deep into his head, and he screamed in pain. Then Alluka was gone and everything was dark. …

Killua never realized how painful such a tiny needle could be. Bruises had already formed on his leg and his arm, and his head spun in painful circles. Killua was leaning against a tree, but Hisoka's Bungee Gum was the only reason he stayed there. The magician sat across from him a few yards away, building a house of cards.

"Finally awake," he said, knocking the cards down.

"Shut up," Killua groaned, "Where did Illumi take Alluka? Tell me!"

"Why such a rush? You don't want to stay with me?"

"Just tell me where Illumi is, I don't have time for your stupid games," he snapped. Hisoka placed a hand over his heart.

"I'm so hurt, I find my games quite fun," his voice was soft, "But, young Killua, I just can not let you go. Illumi would be so mad at me if I did."

"But I have to get Alluka back."

"Why? She's just a burden for you anyway, isn't that true?" Hisoka tilted his head at his snide remark and gave an arrogant grin.

"There really isn't a reason that I can give you," Killua knew it was useless to explain, but he tried anyway. "It's simply that I just have to get her back. No matter what. She's all alone now, and I promised her…I promised her I'd never leave her, so I have to go. I can't leave her with Illumi. He's a terrible person, I know he'll hurt her, I just know he will. I'm the only one. I'm the only one who truly loves Alluka in the whole world. So please, let me rescue my little sister." Killua looked at the ground.

"Mhm. You've killed just as many people as Illumi, so you can't really say he's a terrible person. You're a monster yourself, are you not?" Killua's eyes widened, Hisoka continued, "Monsters can't change who they are. No matter how hard you try to be what you are not, you will always be what you are. That's why I'm curious…"

"Curious?" Killua's voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes. Curious," Hisoka leaned closer, "Curious as to who you really are. …Alright! I've decided."

"Decided what?"

"Decided that I will let you go."

"What? Why?" Killua tried to hide the relief of his voice and a small smile that spread across his face.

"Because I think it would be fun," his simple answer would have seemed suspicious had it not been Hisoka who said it. "I want to see who you are. Maybe it is possible for a monster to be something else. After all, Gon surprised me quite a bit, maybe you can do the same." Bungee gum undid itself and Killua was free.

"Where's Illumi?" He asked.

"A small town between here and Yorknew, if you run to the east you can't miss it. Good luck," Hisoka smiled, "Try and surprise me, that's what makes this entertaining." Killua nodded.

He thought about thanking Hisoka, but then he realized his mistake. Hisoka wasn't being kind, he didn't release him to be nice, he released him because he was bored. It wasn't kindness that set him free, it was a sick desire to do something interesting. And that was most certainly not worthy of a thank you.

Killua ran at _Godspeed_ until he was miles from the edge of the woods. The town was just as Hisoka had said, sitting just off to the east. It was small enough that it would be easy to find Illumi, but still large enough that Killua could conceal himself in the crowds that walked the streets.

He hid his aura before he entered the city. The people were completely unaware of the boy who didn't belong, and they regarded him as if they didn't even notice him at all. Killua asked around and found that there was only one Inn that was used in the city, and he knew Illumi had to be there. It would be too hard to hide Alluka in the woods, the Inn was his only option.

The innkeeper had one of Illumi's needles stuck in his head. Killua knocked him unconscious and grabbed the master key, then headed upstairs. There were only a few others staying in rooms, so it wasn't hard to find the one that Illumi was in. Killua stopped just short of the door, his hand inches from the handle. Was he ready to fight Illumi? Fear ran bone deep in him as he opened the door.

Everything was dark. The only light source was the moon that shone through the window. Killua breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't see Illumi. Alluka lay asleep on the floor, she looked to be unhurt. He rushed over to her, checking for injuries or needles and finding none. Killua sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Alluka," he said, leaning his forehead on hers. Alluka opened her eyes and smiled.

"Big Brother," she whispered, "You came. I was afraid that maybe you didn't want me anymore. I was afraid you wouldn't come…"

"Of course I'd come," Killua reassured her, "I'll always come for you. I promised to protect you didn't I?" She nodded.

"But Illumi said—"

"Illumi doesn't know anything!" Killua added quickly, "Don't listen to him. I'm your big brother. I'll always be there for you." Alluka smiled.

"Big Brother, pat my head."

"Sure," Killua smiled as he ran his hand over her head. Her hair was tangled from sleep, but still soft. She wrapped her arms around him and giggled. Killua tried to smile too but it must have looked like something else. Alluka looked into his eyes and tilted her head.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

 _Monsters can't change who they are. No matter how hard you try to be what you are not, you will always be what you are._ Hisoka's voice echoed through his head. _No matter how hard I wish, I'll never change_ , he thought, _I'll never be anything but a monster. And monsters make terrible big brothers._ Killua looked at the ground, ashamed that he failed to protect Alluka. Some big brother he was.

"I'm such a bad big brother," he said. "I can't do anything, I couldn't even keep you safe from Illumi. I trained so hard with Gon so I could get stronger, but I still, I couldn't even save you. I'm completely…completely…worthless." Alluka jumped up.

"No!" She shouted, shaking her head, "You can be lots of things. You're my big brother. You're Gon's friend. Don't say your worthless, because I love you. And if you're worthless then that's like saying I'm wasting my time loving you, and that is not true. And if you ever say bad things about yourself again I'm, I'm…I'm gonna smack you!" Killua looked at Alluka. Her lips were tight and her eyes were filled with determination. He smiled, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah," he said, "Right. You're right. Thanks, Alluka."

"I love you," Alluka answered. Killua hugged her.

"Love you too," Killua took a deep breath. "Now, let's get out of here. Alluka, climb on my back."

"Okay," Alluka obeyed and wrapped her arms around him.

He smiled and picked her up, then headed for the door. Something was off, why wasn't Illumi here? Killua shook his head, he didn't have time to worry about that. His sole job right now was to get the two of them out of here before Illumi came back. The innkeeper was still knocked out from earlier so it was easy enough to get out of the Inn and make his way out of the city.

Killua started to head towards the airport, but the last time he had taken an aircraft somewhere Illumi had found him with ease, so he decided otherwise. He ended up walking back into the woods. Keeping on the move would be the safest, but it wasn't good for Alluka. It was already late into the night and they had a long way to go to get to Yorknew. Killua found a spot in the woods that was heavily shaded by trees and decided that it would suffice for the moment.

He set Alluka next to him and laid with his hands behind his head, looking up at the night sky. Killua took a deep breath in, the cool night air settled over them. Alluka scooted closer to him, her eyes switching from him to the sky and back. She took a deep breath.

"Big Brother," she said, "Do you think the stars are pretty?"

"Yeah," he answered absently. The stars reminded him of Gon, and that time he had spent on Whale Island, when the two of them had stayed out all through the night. Gon had said that he stars tell stories, they had pictures in them that were just waiting to be told. Killua grinned. "Hey Alluka, can you see the pictures in the stars?"

"Pictures?" She looked up at them with curiosity. The stars were beautifully vibrate and bright, but in Killua's opinion, Alluka could outshine all of them when she was happy.

"Yeah, see," Killua pointed up, "The stars make pictures and you can tell stories from them. It's like connect-the-dots. You can make up any story you want and then the stars will show you the picture. Want to try?"

"Yeah! Yeah, let me try," Alluka squinted up at the sky, searching for a picture, "Oh! That looks like a bear! Like a big, soft teddy bear that watches over everyone, and keeps the nightmares away. That's his job. Big Brother, what pictures do you see?" Killua thought for a moment.

"Hmm, how about that one. See, there?" He pointed to another spot in the sky, "That's a brother and sister. And they go on adventures all through the sky, they move the stars to make pictures and stories. And there always together."

"I like that one," Alluka said, "We're like them, aren't we? We travel the world to find new stories, we can't move the stars or anything but it's still an adventure. And we're always together."

"Yeah," Killua closed his eyes, "I guess we are like them."

The monster and the little girl were finally back together. Maybe being a monster wasn't so bad, if you had a friend by your side. Maybe Hisoka was wrong. Maybe there's more to it than that, maybe a monster could change after all. Killua hugged Alluka as she fell asleep. The trees sighed, and the night became peaceful. The monster wasn't so lonely anymore, he finally had a friend; and there was nothing in the world that could tear them apart.

. . .


	3. A King and A Queen

**Hey guys, so this is the last part in this story, I hope you liked it, I had fun writing it. Sorry this one took so long to update, so thanks for being patient and sticking with me until the end. Anyway, feel free to let me know what you think. Thanks!**

 **Part 3: A King and A Queen**

That night, Killua had a dream. And in his dream, Gon was there. Only, the thing was, all Killua wanted to do was wake up. Gon stood before him, his mouth a tight line, his eyes cold and hard. He stared straight through him, as if their friendship had never even existed. Killua sank lower into a never ending pit of pitch black, Gon did nothing.

"Gon?" Killua found his voice.

" _You're lucky,"_ Gon spoke, _"Because it means nothing to you. Our friendship. Our adventures. It all means nothing."_

"That's not true!" Killua cried, "You're my best friend in the whole world. You mean everything to me…"

" _That's a lie,"_ he turned away, _"If that was true, then why did you leave me? And why didn't you say anything? You always try to do things on your own instead of asking for my help. And I knew, it was only a matter of time, before you left me again…and never came back…"_ Tears streamed down Killua's face. The words hurt worse than any wound he could have been given.

"It's not true," Killua shook his head, "Gon I would never…I only…I just wanted…I just wanted to be your friend. That's all I've ever wanted. You were my first friend and I would do anything! Please, you have to believe me…"

" _It's too late for that."_ Gon turned back to face him. This time he had no eyes, or mouth, or face. And his voice was rough and coarse, frighteningly dark. Killua shuddered as the monster before him spoke. _"We could never be friends."_

Then the darkness swallowed him, and Gon disappeared…

Killua woke in a cold sweat. His breathing was ragged, uneven, and he could feel his heartbeat in his stomach. Alluka was curled up next to him, her hand draped over his arm and the small illusion of a smile rested on her face. He pushed himself up, careful not to wake her.

The grass poked the bottom of his feet as he made his way over to a tree. Killua rested his back on the trunk and stared up through the leaves at the night sky. Stars twinkled overhead, they made the sky look like a ceiling, so high, so far away. Killua stretched his hand above his head, he wished he could touch the stars, but they were much too far away. It dawned on him that Gon was under the same night sky, and then it dawned on him how big the sky really was.

 _That one is a teddy bear, and that one is a brother and sister,_ Killua spoke to himself, his eyes scanned the stars. _And that one…that one is Gon. He's so high up, like he has wings, and his strength carried him all the way up to the heavens. He is bright and far away, and I'm…I'm stuck on the ground. Always looking up at him, but never close enough to do anything._ Killua sighed.

He laid on his side, pulling his attention away from the friend he tried so desperately to forget, but could never bring himself to let go of. Killua shook his head, pushing away thoughts of Gon and instead thinking about his sister. There were so many places that Alluka had never seen before, and he wasn't sure which she would like the best.

Alluka shifted, deep in a far off dream. Killua picked himself up and went over to sit by her. He was no longer tired, so the only thing to do was wait until the sun woke up.

Eventually the sky began to lighten, creatures began to stir, and long shadows began to crawl across the earth. Trees sighed with a soft morning breeze and Alluka rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sat up. Killua had fallen asleep without remembering, and now had impressions of grass on the side of his cheek.

"Where are we going next, big brother?"

"We're going to Yorknew City," Killua smiled. "I know some people who might be there that you can meet."

"Are they nice?" Alluka asked.

"Yeah," he laughed, "They're really nice."

"What about Gon?"

The question surprised him, and he lost his train of thought for a moment. What about Gon? Killua was trying desperately to forget about him, but it seemed that every time he got close to the edge, something pulled him back. It was like he was drowning, his lungs refused to take in air. Breathing stale air, eating tasteless food, drowning in memories. He felt hopeless and sad, but he found that everyday his eyes still searched for the colors he knew were no longer there.

Killua had never been a particularly good person, he had lost his way more times than he could count, or wanted too. But regardless, Gon had always been there. He didn't have any fear or anger towards Killua, Gon accepted him for who he was—it was something Killua had never experienced before. If he was honest, Gon was probably the only person in the world who could do something like that. To think that Killua let him slip through his fingers made his heart ache. Could anyone else even come close to such kindness?

"Gon," Killua repeated, "Gon won't be there."

"Do you want to see him?" Alluka's eyes looked deep into his. Killua couldn't help but nod. "Then wish it."

"Wish…it?"

"Yes, wish it," Alluka continued, "Ask Nanika, and wish it. Wish to see Gon."

"Can you…can Nanika really do that?" Killua's eyes widened. Alluka shrugged.

"Never tried before," she giggled, "But I'll do anything for you, big brother."

XXXXXXXXXX

 _[Alluka's POV]_

Alluka had never tried anything like this before. But she couldn't see why she wouldn't be able to do this. If big brother needed to see his friend, then that's what he would get to do, and Alluka was going to help. She took a breath and looked deep inside herself for the power she needed.

Before she knew it, Gon was in front of them. Her head was light and dizzy, and she was exhuasted, but she didn't feel like telling brother; after all, this was a present that she was giving him and it wasn't the time to complain. Nanika decided not to make any requests this time, since big brother never actually verbally wished this, though she knew it would make him happy.

"Gon!" Her brother's voice was filled with shock and excitement. "What...you're-you're actually here!"

"Killua?" Gon looked at the ground then at his hand and then up at Killua. "How?...I was, I was just at the World Tree. How is it that I'm here now?"

"I brought you here," Alluka spoke. "Did I interrupt something important?"

"No, no, my father just left so I was heading down the tree…and…and then I was here," Gon smiled, "Killua, it's nice to see you again."

"Yeah," Killua nodded, a grin spread across his face.

Alluka sat down against a tree and watched as the two friends caught up with each other. Her brother was smiling more than he had in the last couple of days, and he looked even happier now that Gon was here.

If she was honest, it made Alluka rather jealous of Gon. It made her sad that she would never be able to bring that kind to joy to her brother's face, not like Gon did. And it made her angry that she wasn't good enough, would she ever be able to mean that much to Killua? Or were those feelings exclusively for Gon? She didn't know. But she did know that watching him be happy made her happy, so she said nothing.

Maybe she was a burden to her brother. Maybe it was selfish of her to stay by his side. But she didn't care. She loved him so much, she would put up with anything. And even if it was selfish, she couldn't bring herself to leave him, because that would hurt far too much.

"Alluka," Killua knelt in front of her, "Gon is going to come with us to Yorknew. C'mon and get up. If we hurry then we can make it there before dark."

"Okay." Alluka stumbled to her feet.

They were out of the forest in a little over an hour. Killua held her hand absently, most of his attention was on Gon. Alluka watched her feet move across the ground, one step after another. She realized that no matter how useless she felt, or how much her heart hurt, she would keep moving forward, along side her big brother, one step at a time.

Alluka drifted in and out of a daze. They reached the airport and her mind wandered, then before she knew it, the pilot was announcing their landing. She followed Gon and Killua as they made their way through the city. They talked of old times and adventures they had been on, as well as old friends they had parted ways with. Alluka had hoped that Killua would take her to places and tell him stories, but that seemed not to be the case.

"Killua!" Gon pointed, "Remember…"

She didn't want to listen to the rest. Gon and Killua had so many memories and things in common, and Alluka couldn't think of a single time Killua had ever regarded her as happy as this. He always talked of her as if she were something he had to protect, he never spoke of her as an equal to fight alongside of—only as something that he was bound by duty to. Alluka wondered that, if Killua were not her brother, if he would still have chosen to be around her.

They went to a park and sat by a pond to fish. And once again Gon and Killua sat side by side, Alluka stayed behind them, out of the way. She was locked in that room for most of her life, and it was Killua who had freed her. She thought that if they traveled together the world would be big enough for her. Big enough for them to forget the past and make new memories together. But she was mistaken. The world was smaller than she had thought. Small enough that the past would always be with her.

Alluka had a selfish thought then. She thought that if the world were bigger, then Gon would be further away. Alas the world was too small. It was so small in fact, that no matter where they went, Gon would always be on Killua's mind. And Alluka felt sad. When she was in that room, she still had Nanika, so she was never truly alone. But her brother, he knew what it was to be lonely. And if Gon was the one who made him feel not so lonely anymore, then how could Alluka take that away from him?

"Big brother," Alluka went down by the pond and stood next to Killua. "I'm tired. Can we go back to the hotel?"

"Sure," Killua smiled and stood. He took her hand. Gon followed back to the hotel and they found their way to the room. Though he had agreed to take her back, Alluka could tell that he would rather have stayed at the park all night to sleep under the stars again. She felt bad for inconveniencing him, but her head hurt a lot and all she wanted to do was lie down.

"Killua, let's play a game," Gon said cheerfully.

"Okay! I think there are some board games over here."

"Alluka," Gon turned to her, "Do you want to play too?"

"No," Alluka shook her head. "I'm really tired, I'm gonna go to bed."

"Alright," Gon looked genuinely sad but it was not enough to convince her to stay awake. She thought Killua deserved a little time away from his burden.

"I'll come say goodnight in a little while, okay, Alluka?" Killua smiled.

Alluka had fallen asleep before he could keep his promise. Her dream wasn't as sweet as they had been before. This time, she was running after Killua. He was ahead of her saying _c'mon let's go. Hurry!_ But the faster Alluka ran after him, the further away he got. _Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!_ Then he was out of sight. Alluka slumped to the ground and cried.

When she woke, the darkness did not go away.

Killua laid next to her, Gon on the other side. She missed having her big brother all to herself, and she missed not having to compete for his attention. The thing that angered her most was that Gon didn't even think of it that way. He wasn't competing for Killua's attention because he was already given it.

"Big brother," Alluka whispered. "You love me, right? And you would do anything for me…would you even…kill for me?" Killua rolled over and mumbled something in his sleep.

Alluka was relieved that he hadn't heard her. And she was scared about what she had almost asked him to do. She didn't hate Gon, and she didn't want him dead, at least she thought she didn't. But she knew she didn't want him here. More than anything, she just wanted him to go away…

Her wish was answered a few days later. Gon said that it had been fun but now he had to part ways. Killua's only response was _"oh, okay."_ Even Alluka could hear the pain in his voice.

And she felt terrible. She felt terrible that she had made that wish and she felt terrible that it was now coming true. But she was also relieved. She was relieved that Gon would finally go away and leave them alone. Alluka couldn't decide which feeling was real, or which one she should side with. Alluka felt terribly guilty for making such a wish; and terribly guilty that she wanted it to happen.

Gon was going to leave, and Killua would be all hers. It was truly a double edged sword. While getting what she wanted, Alluka was also hurting the person she cared for most.

Alluka watched as Gon finished packing his things. She told herself that she had to say something to him, before it was too late. Because if she didn't try, she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life.

"I'm sorry," she said to Gon.

"For what?"

"For making you leave," she said. Gon shook his head and laughed.

"You aren't making me leave," his voice dropped and he looked at the ground. "It is simply just time for me to go."

"Gon, do you have to leave? I mean, do you really have to go, again?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I do," Gon nodded.

"But you make big brother so happy," Alluka pleaded, "If you go...then he will be sad again."

"No," Gon took her hand, "Because he has you."

Alluka's eyes widened. Gon made Killua ecstatic beyond all hope, but maybe it was possible, for her to make him feel the same way too. She realized then, that comparing herself to Gon was like asking the moon to be the sun. If Gon was the sun, and he showed Killua the way during the day, then Alluka was the moon. And she would lead Killua through the dark. She smiled. Gon stood and looked down at her.

"Thank you, Alluka," Gon said, "For letting me see my friend again."

XXXXXXXXXX

 _[Killua's POV]_

Gon looked back, flashing a brave smile.

"See you later?"

"Sure," Killua smiled back. Though he knew this would be the last time they ever crossed paths. _It was good to see you, but this was the last time. I know._

"Goodbye, Killua."

"Goodbye, Gon." _Thanks for being my friend._

Even as Gon walked away, Killua found he wasn't sad. It didn't hurt anymore. Instead there was only a small numbness, like all the feeling had been drained away. Maybe, Killua was satisfied. He had gotten to see his best friend one more time, despite all the odds against them. If this was where things ended, if they never saw each other again, Killua could learn to be okay with that. Killua would be able to look back and have absolutely no regrets about meeting Gon Freecss, his first, and most precious friend in the whole world.

"Are you alright, big brother?" Alluka tugged on his shirt.

It was then Killua realized all that Alluka had done for him. She exhausted herself in efforts to give Killua what he wanted and sacrificed parts of her own happiness to do so. Gon was not the only person in the world to ever show such kindness to a monster like him. How had he been so blind? Alluka was truly the embodiment of kindness. And he couldn't believe he had missed it before. Killua owed her everything, and he was going to pay back his debt to her no matter what.

"Yeah," he smiled and hugged her tightly, "I'm alright. I'm alright. Thank you, Alluka…for everything." Alluka beamed with happiness as she hugged him back.

They headed back to the hotel room. The empty feeling in Killua's stomach had subsided and he felt better than he had a few days ago. Once they got back to the room Alluka sat on the floor across from Killua and they played puzzle games and board games and card games. He ordered room service, letting Alluka order anything and everything that she wanted.

And they had a feast. Pork dishes, beef dishes, seasoned pasta bowls and colorful fruit cups. Vegetable rolls and soft bread; cheese and salty chips. And, of course, chocolate. Killua made it a necessity to have chocolate cake, and Alluka wanted ice cream. So they laughed and feasted and forgot about their worries. A brother and his little sister.

"Big brother," Alluka said, "Can we play the game with the king and the Queen? You know, the one where the Queen protects her King?..." Killua smiled and pushed himself off the ground.

"Sure," he smiled, "It's right over here."

He grabbed the board and laid down on his stomach, then he set up the pieces in the right order. He twisted his finger over a piece and thought of the best move to make. Alluka cleared a path for her Queen, like she always did. The whole point of the game was strategy, but she played with only the Queen piece and occasionally another small piece that did no damage.

Killua watched her hum as she went about placing her pieces. She didn't pay attention to holes that she left in her defense, or how little she used some pieces that could potentially decide the games winner. She didn't care. To her, it was purely for fun. For the longest time Killua thought he always had to have a reason for doing things, he thought an explanation was always needed; but watching Alluka, he realized that maybe it was okay to go through life and do some things just for the sake of doing them.

A little while into their game, Alluka stood up and walked over to the tray room service had brought. She returned moments later with two chocolate hearts in her hand, and promptly gave one to him. Killua smiled.

"What's this for?"

"It's the Queen's job to take care of her King. And you said I could be a Queen one day. So I thought, chocolate makes everything better. You like chocolate, don't you?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Big Brother?" Alluka sat next to him. "You love me, right? And you're always going to love me, no matter what?"

"Of course, no matter what." Killua assured her. Alluka smiled.

"More than the stars?" She asked.

"More than all the stars in the universe."

"Way past the sky?"

"Way past the sky and up into infinity."

"Forever and always?" Alluka's eyes met his and Killua smiled.

Killua Zoldyck had always been fond of his little sister. And sitting there with her, playing this game, filled him with an unimaginable happiness. He loved her more than anything in the world, even more so than his very own life, and without her he felt he would be nothing more than an empty shell. Killua had lost his way more than once, but that was past. Alluka had forgiven him, so he could now forgive himself too. He was determined to be the best big brother that she had ever had. Killua pulled Alluka close and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Of course," he whispered. "Forever and always."

 _ **Fine**_


End file.
